We often see people expressing gratitude to their managers for being great leaders and mentors, praising them for helping shape their careers. But does just shaping someone’s career truly qualify as mentorship? The common definition of mentorship, though continuously evolving, refers typically to the guidance provided by an experienced individual in a corporate setting or in an educational institution. As a result, many managers who guide their team members may be considered mentors. However, is providing guidance mentorship? Not really.
As Bob Proctor puts it, “A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself and helps bring it out.” This highlights the transformative power of mentorship. Throughout history, some of the greatest personalities have had mentors who helped
them discover the best in themselves. Whether it was Steve Jobs guiding Mark Zuckerberg, Benjamin Graham mentoring Warren Buffett or Warren Buffett himself advising Bill Gates, many successful individuals have had someone to help pave their path. So, what makes a good mentor? How did these remarkable men choose individuals even greater than themselves for guidance and support? If they hadn’t made the right choice, would they still have left such a significant mark on history? We may never know for sure but it’s important for us to distinguish between those who merely manage and guide us in day-to-day tasks at work versus those who truly have our best interests at heart and aim to hone our skills to prepare us for the world.
The first quality a mentee should look for in a mentor is a genuine interest in their growth and strong commitment to their success. A good mentor always knows how to communicate feedback to you in the most direct, constructive, respectful and kind manner. A mentor who truly cares will not only help you recognize your strengths but also work with you on eliminating your weaknesses. If your mentor is always praising you without pointing out areas for improvement, he might not be a true mentor but someone who is reluctant to share genuine and constructive feedback because he/she is concerned about losing mentor status. A good mentor will always challenge you to improve and push you to reach your full potential.
Next, consider the mentor’s knowledge. Does the mentor have a deep enough understanding of the domain? Mentors who have an in-depth domain knowledge, experience and industry exposure can best help the mentee in their pursuits.
Also, ask yourself if your mentor offers unique ideas and approaches. Do they stick to conventional methods, or are they open to new ways of thinking? A mentor who is open to different perspectives is likely to be a better problem solver and will help you acquire those skills as well.
Is your mentor too judgemental? Are you comfortable sharing ideas which may be different from others? Mentors are supposed to be an effective sounding board for venting emotions, views and feelings. Excellent mentors are empathetic and practice reflective listening to understand the mentee’s views to offer them the most valuable and actionable advice. Good mentors always listen and advise. They don’t dictate or judge.
Another often overlooked skill is the mentor’s ability to acknowledge their own flaws and failures. Many people either believe they know it all or are uncomfortable admitting their flaws. But remember, only someone who can accept their own imperfections can help you recognize yours and teach you to embrace them while working on improvement areas. There’s no such thing as a perfect mentor.
Is your mentor authentic? Do they have strong values? Pay attention to how they treat others. You don’t want to be guided by someone who, despite their titles and accomplishments, lacks ethics and empathy.
Finally, seek out a mentor you admire and who inspires you to grow into a better version of yourself. Their ideology, professional approach, and values will shape your journey, so it’s important to ask yourself if you aspire to be someone like them.
To summarize, when seeking a mentor, it is necessary to look for individuals who possess qualities like relevant expertise in your professional domain, enthusiasm in sharing their knowledge, respect towards your journey, curiosity in your development, honesty in their feedback, and strong communication skills including reflective listening with empathy.
The process of finding the right mentor can be challenging, and there’s no perfect method to do so. This raises the question that if finding a mentor is so difficult why do so many people have mentors? The answer is quite straightforward – while a mismatched mentor – mentee relationship can lead to frustration and disengagement, not having a mentor can result in untapped potential and missed opportunities. So people tend to engage with mentors available within known circles even though he / she is less than perfectly matched for the mentee’s needs.
Mentorship, with all its benefits and challenges, is a powerful tool for personal and professional development. Some people choose to have multiple mentors, believing that different perspectives can be valuable
for growth in various facets of life. There’s no definitive answer on the ideal number of mentors but having at least one is a choice worth considering. So, if you don’t have a mentor yet, it’s time to start looking for one now.